The Circle of Life
by BlueSmurfette
Summary: Draco Malfoys thoughts when his son asks him what the mark on his arm is... one shot.


**Written for the Harry Potter Disney Song Challenge - I got The Circle of life from the Lion King. :)**

_'It's the Circle of Life_

_And it moves us all_

_Through despair and hope_

_Through faith and love_

_Till we find our place_

_On the path unwinding_

_In the Circle_

_The Circle of Life'_

Scorpius tugs on my trousers insistently as I try and read "What is it?" I ask, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice as i address my son.

"What is that skull on your arm?" he asks, his eyes round and innocent.

"A mistake" I say simply. I do not want to be the one to corrupt him of his innocence - tell him what his father was, what he did.

_"Draco, come sit with me." I ran to my father and sat by his chair, a young child who still worshipped his Dad. "I want to show you something," he had said, opening a copy of the Daily Prophet and pointing at an article - "Amy Morris Killed by Death Eaters' "Do you know who this is Draco?" I shook my head, "This is a mud-blood Draco, a person with non magical parents. They are dirty Draco, you may meet some when you are older, when you start school, but you must always remember you cannot trust them and you can certainly not befriend them. They threaten the wizarding worlds existence." I nod and my father pats me on the head, signalling I can leave._

As a teenager I was troubled to say the least. I was a Malfoy. Being a Malfoy meant living up to things. Doing things. My father was tough - a death eater. He was imprisoned when I was sixteen and I was expected to follow in his footsteps - whether or not I wanted to was not important, Voldemort was omnipotent and I had little choice. And, for a while, I thought being a death eater was what I wanted. Before I cracked. I knew I could never live up to my father and could never do what was expected of me. I would never have been able to kill the helpless old man in front of me. The man who had taught me so much. I wimped out. To this day I wonder what would have happened to me had I gone ahead with the murder. I was terrified of what would happen to me, I had disobeyed Voldemort's orders. I was scared. I was still a child and I was facing death, this I knew.

Now a young man, Voldemorts reign was over, yet I was still unsure of who I really was. Everywhere I travelled I received dirty looks and heard people whispering. To them I was scum. Useless. They made me question myself and my integrity - was I evil - should I be in Azkaban. For a long time these thoughts haunted me - steered the direction of my life. I became a recluse - leaving the house only to buy more whiskey, to help me drown out my thoughts. I was numb, inside and out. I had no real friends anymore. Those I'd made in school had all distanced themselves from me after the wizarding war. I felt so alone. My mother was the only person who I regularly saw, who spoke to me. She disapproved of my drinking but I didn't care. She didn't care enough to stop me either.

One time, I nearly finished it all. Drank myself to a complete stupor. If Mother hadn't come when she had, I could well be dead. I remember being in St. Mungos, the looks the nurses gave me. They made an obvious effort to spend as little time with me as possible. For a long time after the incident I wished I had died. I was ostracized from society and it was unbearable. The drinking didn't ease off after my near death experience. I'd never say I was trying to kill myself though - drinking just made feel better. I developed a beard, became unkempt. I took to walking down alleyways cursing rats. My life was at its lowest ebb.

Things turned around just over a year after the drinking incident. I was walking through Knockturn Alley, trying to find someone who would sell me whiskey for less than a galleon - I had drained what little money I had on alcohol and my other was refusing to give me more as she knew what I would spend it on. Then I saw her. The girl who changed everything. I recognised the pretty brunette, she had been a Slytherin, a couple of years below me when I attended Hogwarts. Despite this I did not approach her, knowing that I was unlikely to get a positive reaction from her. As we passed I noticed her come to a halt from the corner of my eye, "Draco?" I turned to face her, she was smiling. "How have you been?" she continued, obviously trying to initiate a conversation. My social skills had diminished over my years in exile but I managed an

"Okay." in reply to her question. She smiled again, her eyes full of warmness and kindness. I was confused yet pleased at the same time.

"Would you like to join me for a butter beer?" she asked. I wanted to say yes, but I was not sure I could face the Leaky Cauldron, which would no doubt be full of staring faces. As if she could read my mind she added "We could go back to mine?"

A year later and I was happy again. I was living with Astoria and we were engaged to be married, also I had managed to get a job behind the bar in The Hog's Head. I had been working there for almost six months and I had finally found a place where I was not judged. At last my life was back on track. We were married in July - it was a small wedding - with just family members and a few friends from the pub and it was held in a beautiful hall. It was the second happiest day of my life, the first being the day my son was born.

So that is why, when my son asked what the skull on my arm was, I did not tell him . It was part of my past, part of a different person. And as he sat there, and I remembered all the times in the past when my father had manipulated my thoughts, told me what to believe and what to think, and I promised myself I would let Scorpius make his own choices, have his own views, I would break Malfoy tradition, I would let him find his own place, on the path that is life.

**I hope you liked this :) I tried reallly hard to relate it to the song, and I hope you can see how it does, as I have never written a 'songfic' before :)**

**xoxo**


End file.
